I slept on the sofa and ate things I found in the kitchen and wore hand-me-downs.
I had ten brothers and sisters, perhaps more. They were all older than me, apart from Little Sister. They ignored me mostly. I think that I knew all of their names, but perhaps not. Father was always on business, I never saw him, I don't know what he looked like, perhaps he didn't exist. Mother was also very busy, I did not see her for weeks, I don't think that she could remember who I was.
I found things to eat in the kitchen, there was always something there, always dog food, I didn't eat the dog food. I don't remember seeing any dog or cat in the house. Last week there was cat food in the kitchen, perhaps soon there will be giraffe food.
I live in a very big house, but I don't often see my brothers or sisters. There is a room with piles of clothes, I choose something for me sometimes.
Late at night long after I have finished my homework I sit on the sofa and watch cartoons on the television with Little Sister. She puts her arm around me, we watch the cartoons and talk about things.
She said that she recorded the cartoons in the morning. I asked her why. She said that I liked to watch cartoons with her on the sofa. I looked at her. She turned the TV off and we never looked at cartoons again. We always sat on the sofa together and talked about things.
I sleep on the sofa and she on the armchair.
My brothers and sisters mostly ignored me. One Sunday I dressed up in some clothes from a big sister. My brothers and sisters ignored me as usual, perhaps they thought that I was someone else.
At first I thought that it was great fun to wear my sister's clothing, perhaps I was perverted. Later I realised that I was not dressed up, just dressed, the clothes were clothes. Later still I felt quite normal, the clothes were just clothes. That evening Little Sister put her arm round me as we sat on the sofa together and said that I looked better in the clothes than my big sister did.
I asked her if I should always wear girl's clothes – she said that I should do what I wanted to do.
One day, or rather one night, she told me that she had started school. I was shocked, I had always thought that she was too clever to go to school. She had found the forms in the bin and filled them in. She lied about her age and her name.
Little Sister has always been called Little Sister, she knew no other name and nobody else could remember any other. Birth certificate? Try finding that.
Your age, why did you lie about that? You know how old you are.
Oh, yes! But I discovered what the kids do in the first class, just play about. In the second they learn letters and things and in the third they start reading and writing. So I added three years to my age.
So now you're happy in the third class, aren't you?
I don't think so, I don't know yet. I like painting. Perhaps I must skip another class. I can read and write and doing sums is easy.
What about having fun with the other kids? It's fun being a kid isn't it? You shouldn't miss all the fun of childhood, you know.
Stop taking the piss out of me! I know how to have fun. Sitting here talking with you is fun, isn't it?
Oh, yes Little Sister. It is the best part of my day.