| Amy | Amy is studying "Stupidity in the Early Twenty-first Century". Jimmie is a bit stupid, but Amy likes him anyway. |
| b | I know you, b. You have spent your whole life fixing women's problems. It's true isn't it? You meet a woman, enter her life for a few minutes or years, solve her big problem, and then you leave her. |
| Betty |
Betty was very small, she looked like her sister,
but she was extremely small. She wore clothes that were a mix of an American cheerleader,
a German Funkenmariechen and the Sugar Plum Fairy. She also never spoke.
Lots of Betty stories at Betty and the Carnival Sequence and Betty on the rampage and Betty on tour and the cat |
| bitch | She's a bitch of a girl. She's very pretty, she has a wonderfully handsome boyfriend; but next week she will have a new one, just as good. She's a bitch of a girl. |
| Brasslans | Brasslans is a village. Or is it a small town? It's a bit odd. And who knocks on the front door every cold first of January? |
| Bulge | Why do girls say they have too many bulges and too few bulges? And why do boys say that girls have too many bulges? |
| cat | Betty is an old favourite, she has starred in eighty of my stories and now she meets the cat. |
| clone | Can you imagine? One year in jail for every clone I make. And the archbishops were claiming that I murdered my clones. I haven't killed anybody. Clones are temporary, they don't die, they just disappear. |
| Colin | Colin's life as boy, young man, man and old man. And the women in Colin's life. |
| Curate | I'm very new and very young; I'm the Curate; here for a couple of years and very much the junior priest. I'm engaged to Primrose who teaches music in a local school. |
| Cuthbert | Every man needs a hobby. Cuthbert decided to start a harem, a collection of women between sixteen and sixty and Mrs Happy. |
| D&C | Doreen said, you are staring at me again. You are staring at me with your crazy eyes. You are crazy, Chardonnay! What crazy thing do you want now? |
| Dotty | Dotty stories are rather dotty. |
| ebook | In 2012 I started my ebook project. When I started to write I wanted to write stories with humour, but many of my stories turned themselves into love stories. An ebook of love stories – why not? |
| Frau Alpert | A band of people on the border between happiness and madness. Frau Alpert, Betty, Jack, Bob, Lampshade and Steffie are waiting for you. |
| Friday and Saturday | Friday&Saturday stories are deadly. |
| 9gals! | Nine girls are born at the age of 18 and form a pop group. |
| girl in white | She's a very naughty girl. She was found in a carrycot named after her; Tomi is a popular brand in some other country. She's into disappearing and reappearing. She is the girl in white. |
| granny | granny is not my grandmother. I close my eyes and pretend that she is my grandmother. She closes her eyes and pretends that I'm a little boy named Johnnie. It's great fun. |
| headland | The House on the Headland is a long story in small parts. |
| Jennffer |
Jennffer, pronounced YEN-FER, goes to school for the first time.
Hello! My name is Jennffer. I've got a story to tell you. My life was fine – I was really enjoying things. And then it happened. |
| Miss Davis & Miss Jones | Miss Davis is a gentle old lady. She likes to wear steel underwear. She is always with Miss Jones. She is a violent, homicidal thug. Miss Jones is a gentle old lady. She likes to wear steel-reinforced underwear. She is always with Miss Davis, always. She is a violent, homicidal thug. |
| Mrs Happy | Mrs Happy is always grumpy. Cuthbert makes her happy, even though she's more than twice his age. She does the ironing. |
| Nottingham | It was really black and white – he was white, Lancelot was black, and he was scared of Lancelot. Lancelot was a huge and dangerous stallion and Nottingham was white, small and short-legged. |
| Nurse | The Nurse likes to examine people, she wants to examine you. She poked me all over, all over again, but this time with special medical equipment. She said that it was special medical equipment. She had so much special medical equipment. She had to try everything. She said so. |
| ODD | Definitely unusual, not extraordinary but not ordinary, just unordinary. |
| power | Last time was, like usual, a monster at the door. I don't like monsters but this one wasn't too bad. It would just eat the furniture and be a big trouble. But I had to get rid of it, because I have the power. |
| Quaint | Quaint stories are individual stories or short sequences of stories – rather quaint. |
| Red Wash |
An eleven-part crime story with a difference, dedicated to Ralph.
I book into a hotel. I am sitting on the end of a big double bed in my underwear watching a big TV. I am lonely. I am a murderer. |
| Sandhurst sequence | The greenies have taken over the island, there are not many humans left. Jim Power has been sent to contact a group of survivors, if he can find any. He has a companion, a satellite telephone, some lead-barium pellets, a gun and something very special. |
| sweet little 13 | The sweet little thirteen stories are about me. I'm quite happy with what I am. And it does not trouble me that people think that I am sweet thirteen. I wear clothes like I was sweet thirteen – it causes less trouble. I am going to make you happy, very happy indeed. |
| seven legs of lamb | The seven legs of lamb is a six-part story which started as a single humorous story about a teenage girl with strange eating habits, but grew into a love story, a crime and politics story, a love story. |
| Mrs Tinge | With a name like Fiona Ismeralda Tinge what else could she do; she knew the perfect fit for underwear, she could feel it, she always did. She knew two truths about herself, that she was an expert in underwear and that she was... |
| Toby and Julie | Toby can't read or write, but there is something special about him. Julie can read and write and is very special. |
| Torkle | You don't know about the half per cent; they use Torkle machines. And you don't know what a Torkle machine is. Beware of the half per cent! |
| treacle | The treacle content of these stories is rather low. I am often asked what I do for a living. I have once or twice made the mistake of telling people that I make money by helping people. I now say: I am a collector of treacle. |
| vertex | I was in a triangle or perhaps a pyamid. It was clear who the apex was, the second vertex was also clear. But where was I? The other vertex perhaps or in the middle. |
| Who am I? | Who am I? is a good question to ask as you don't know, especially when every day is different, when every day you are in a different place, when every day there are different people, a new time, a new language and you have a new body. You have to ask yourself Who am I? |
| next➤ | Remember to click on next story➤ for the next part➤ in multi-part stories. |
| other stuff | stories to make you laugh and stories to make you cry and excerpts and stories for my sister and crazy stories and love stories and bits of my life and the site map |
| story links | External links to other story websites. |
| offcuts | Bits and pieces, recipes, miscellaneous, links, this and that, index. |
| pictures | Unordinary pictures – picture gallery 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 7. |
| Deutlich Deutsch |
Hier sind alle meine deutschen Geschichten gelistet.
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