alimentary canal

Baba 1 was in white and Baba 2 was in black.

StoryKettle » DOTTY » alimentary canal

Copyright © 2019, Michael M Wayman

She glided across the moors, but not very fast, she was glad to be alive. The bike was as good as it ever was, she tested the brakes, the steering and the acceleration. Everything was in order. She had been to Whitby to pick up the bike after a yearly check-up and maintenance. She was gliding home.

She was very small and wore white leathers and a white helmet. The bike was very big and she could not reach the pedals; but there were no pedals, the bike was electric and had no gearbox; all the levers were up on the bars.

Lettie was waiting for her with a big glass of water. Baba 1 was in white and Baba 2 was in black, Bussi-Bussis all round, everybody got kissed several times.

The bike had to be big, the rider was very small, but both Babbas were full-sized. They rode off into the distance and the sun shone down on them.

“And welcome back! This is your WesPro team serving the West Province. We’re in a building opposite the Old City Library on Congress Avenue watching the Biker Rally Motorcycle Parade on the street below. It’s the biggest biker event in the country.”

“Opposite us is a tribune where all the city celebs are waving at the bikers. The mayor, the fire chief, the police chief – you name ‘em, they’re there...”

“Sorry to interrupt, but here comes the biggest motorcade, the Black Corner Group. Who are they? They aren’t on the list...”

“I’ve got our studio manager loud in my ear, we have an expert on the Black Corner Group. Welcome to Sanya in Singapore.” The TV cuts to show Sanya at home. “You’re wearing a wonderful ethnic costume...”

“It’s my dressing gown, it’s three in the morning here in Singapore.” The TV cuts back to the parade. “The Black Corner Group is a world-wide club of violent people, it encourages violence against things and not against people. It does however assassinate men, it is always men, who are really nasty and really evil, especially politicians.”

“The Black Corner motorcade is very impressive, very big and very loud. On the left are Indians, mostly dark red, and black HDs on the right. And in the middle is the huge bike named the Alimentary Canal and is bright red. And look who’s riding it.”

“A little girl wearing white leathers and a white helmet. She can’t reach the pedals – there is an automatic gearbox and no pedals – all the levers are up on the bars. She is about 25 years old and is the founder of the Black Corner Group and is very violent...”

“Why is the bike called the Alimentary Canal?”

“Can’t you hear the sound it’s making? Like the last stage of a very large alimentary canal. It’s got a parade gear, an underdrive, for going very slowly and being loud. The bike was especially built for David Hedgebury, the very successful hedge fund manager, who is also small.”

“Hedge, as everyone calls him, is getting on in years and has lent his bike to his friend Anna Pearson, who is also a successful business person. Anna Pearson is riding Baba 1 and her wife Fiona Tinge is riding Baba 2. I told you it is a big bike...”

“The motorcade has stopped. Why? The little girl has dismounted, the bike has a power-operated stand, everyone is waiting. She swiftly climbs up the front of the tribune and grabs the police chief by the neck.” A TV camera zooms down on the scene.

“She’s pulled out the guy’s revolver and she’s squeezing the barrel of the gun flat. She folds the flattened gun barrel back on itself and gives it back to the police chief. She climbs back down and the parade continues.”

“What was that all about? A show of strength?”

“The police chief is obviously a very nasty and a very evil person. He has less than 24 hours to leave the country, become a monk or charity worker or...”

“Why didn’t she just kill him?”

“Etiquette – she is a guest in this country.”

“It’s time for a break – the next motorcade is a musical band, each rider plays an instrument, the big instruments are mounted on the bikes.”

It was always a good time meeting members of the Black Corner Group. Everyone wanted to give her a hug – she was such an inspiration to them all. But it was at last time to go – it was an hour’s ride with Baba 1 and Baba 2 to Hedge’s ranch.

Hugs all round. She got back on the bike, Hedge riding as Baba 1 and his boyfriend as Baba 2. They rode off into the distance and the sun shone down on them.

Have you read black corner and confused?