“Welcome Henni, to the World Of Women.”
“Thank you Jean, I'm glad to be here. And thanks to all you watching at home and to the studio audience.”
“So what you doing these days, Henni?”
“Since I qualified I'm a full-time teacher, six-to-seven-year-olds, it's great. However you want to know about net, don't you?”
“Sure do Henni, tell us what net means.”
“Nasty and Evil to be Terminated. It's a project to find and identify people who are both very nasty and very evil; and then terminate them or scare them into leaving the country. The aim is to rid the country of nasty and evil people and make everybody happier.”
“Termination? That means killing them?”
“Yes, very much so. I took part in the first two net tours. Just my sister and me visiting seaside towns. We stayed in cheap B&Bs, it was easy to find the nasty and evil guys, they were mostly men. However we did research for several days to make sure. Were they very nasty and evil? And had we identified them all?”
“So Henni, could you describe to us one of your visits?”
“Sure, our visit to Wincastleton-on-Sea. We arrived by bus early one evening, booked into a B&B and visited a pub. The same evening we discovered the two nasty and evil men in town.”
“Yes, the locals told us their names. However we did spend two days doing more research. Who and exactly who. We did not want to terminate the wrong guys. Also it is a big mistake and dangerous to terminate some but not all of the nasty and evil.”
“We met the two guys and warned them to move to the other side of the planet, otherwise it would be THE BETTY...”
“I think Henni, you should explain who Betty is. Here is a picture of Betty in a pub.”
“Betty is my lovely sister. She is very small and does not hear or speak. In the picture Betty is sitting on my lap drinking a litre of beer. Betty is heavily into dancing and violence. At the back of the picture you can see a man lying on the floor. He is lying on the floor because Betty had just thumped him stupid – he is lucky to be alive.”
“You look after your little sister?”
“Oh, no, Jean. She looks after me. She is older than me and protects me. Anyway, back to the visit. I continued the research, however I did swim in the sea and sunbath on the beach. Betty practised dancing and taught dancing to some of the kids. We met the two nasty and evil guys in the town hall car park a week later and Betty punched their brains out.”
“She did what?”
“We went to the nearby police station to report the two deaths, but the policeman told us to go to the town hall: registry office for births and deaths. I explained that we had just killed the councillors and the policeman got more interested – he wanted to question us in the interview room.”
“No, not really. I told him to read standing order number 43, especially the last sentence: no direct action to be taken in regard to Betty without written orders from the chief constable.”
“Wow, that means you can get away with murder. I didn't realise...”
The studio audience makes strange noises.
“I can hear music, Jean. I think I know what is happening.”
“Henni, I don't and the studio manager doesn't either.”
Henni stands, Jean stands, the music gets louder.
A small girl cartwheels across the studio floor and somersaults into Henni's arms. A troupe of dancers and a band of musicians enter the studio and fill it.
Betty puts an arm around Henni's neck and waves with her other arm. It is Betty, who else did you expect?
Everybody dances – the band plays – great fun.