ten ten

She's into dancing, violence, sex, alcohol, cooking and helping everybody...

StoryKettle » BETTY » ten ten

Copyright © 2015, Michael M Wayman

Welcome, welcome to the Truth At Ten. This is Tim Trenchard with the Truth At Ten. Or should I say the Truth at Ten Ten? I'm sure you all enjoyed the big game and that you did not mind the extra ten minutes – this is a live show too.

And tonight we are going to find out the truth behind Betty, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Who is Betty? The good side and the other side of Betty? And where is Betty now?

This is Betty dancing on float number nine in the famous Bigtown Carnival Procession. This video was taken last year in March. She is the star of the show – just see how she dances – just see those frilly knickers.

This is a pub in downtown Bigtown, Betty is sitting on the bar, she never sits on chairs, she is so small. She is downing a litre of beer with both hands around the beer mug. On the left at the back of the pub a fight is starting.

Watch Betty finish her beer, jump down from the bar and thump the three guys stupid – Betty had a monopoly on violence. Watch the guy on the left, Betty clobbers him, he staggers backwards, slides down the wall and sits there for the next hour. Betty does not allow brawling.

You have seen Betty and dancing and violence. My first guest knows Betty very well – a big welcome to Henni Smith!

Hello, Tim. I'm glad to be here, I want to know what happened to Betty...

But first we want to hear about Betty and how she was.

OK, Tim. I'm Betty's younger sister. We look very similar, people used to think we were identical twins until Betty stopped growing – Peter Pan syndrome.

We grew up in a children's home, we know nothing about our parents. You may not know that the big thing in Bigtown is the carnival clubs. They don't just do carnival, they are big charities running schools, clinics, hospitals, homes. And the biggest and best is the Four Crosses Carnival Club.

The Carnival Club cared for us, we learnt singing and dancing in kindergarten, Betty did dancing. Betty did nothing else, Betty did not hear and she never learned to speak or read or write, no sign-language or lip-reading.

Betty was extremely strong-minded, she did what she wanted to do and nothing else; and no one could tell her otherwise. Betty wanted to dance, she was splendid, that's all I can say, she is a splendid dancer.

At the age of four she was made a member of the Carnival Club, a so-called POG, although normally people joined in their twenties. In the same year she did the solo dancing on float number nine and every year after.

She didn't go to school, she didn't want to. Betty did martial arts such as Karate, Chop Suey, Judo and weight-lifting, she's got a black belt in violence.

She was the best dancer the Club ever had. At the age of eleven she was made a member of the Eleven, that is the governing body of the Carnival Club. This was extraordinary, she was so young, so female and didn't have pots of money.

With Betty on board the Four Crosses Carnival Club became bigger, better, richer and more popular – half the nation watch the Morning or the Evening at the Four Crosses Carnival Club on TV every year.

OK, Henni. What's Betty like as a person?

As I said, she is very strong-minded, she does what she wants, but she is not self-centred. She is always willing to help, she is always smiling, although it is not clear whether she is smiling or laughing. She makes everybody happy.

She's into dancing, violence, sex, alcohol, cooking and helping everybody...

Helping everybody? How about people who are nasty and evil, corrupt politicians? We've all seen the videos, we've all seen Betty enjoying...

You mean the videos you cannot show on your program, Tim? All I can say is, if you are nasty or evil or both you need to leave the country to save your life.

OK Henni, did Betty kill the mayor of Bigtown and the so-called Gang of Four?

Yes, Tim.

How do you know that?

I was with her when she killed the four perverts and a couple of muggers too. I once put the question “Did you kill the mayor?” into my mind and Betty nodded her head.

I don't understand, how does Betty know who is nasty and evil? And how can she dance to music if she can't hear?

Betty can't hear, I know this. She could speak, but she doesn't want to, I think. She moves without making any sound – I don't know how she does this.

Betty doesn't know about lots of stuff, money means nothing to her, she does not know that her name is Betty. But she knows other stuff, she can read minds, I know this. If she doesn't like somebody it is pretty obvious, at least to me.

As for dancing, Betty doesn't dance to music, the musicians take their timing from her, she has perfect timing – just watch her.

Betty is extraordinary, I think I understand now, Henni. Here are two video clips of Betty dancing, the first is a ballet solo the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy. And this is Betty leading the cheerleaders onto the Bigtown Football Field. And thirdly Betty knocking down a large beech tree with her bare hands.

Time for our next guest, who is on a special mission in Bigtown. Welcome to Tom Melks, or should I say Inspector Tom Melks?

Just plain Tom tonight, Tim.

OK Tom, before you tell us about your special mission, you've got a story to tell us, haven't you?

About ten years ago I was stationed in Bigtown doing highway patrol. I was a young cop and didn't know much then. Early one morning I was heading up the expressway north of Bigtown when another car shot past me.

Another young man in stolen car having a joy ride I thought. I floored it with lights screaming and siren flashing, but I could only follow. Suddenly the other car stopped, probably out of fuel. I stopped, a door opened and out stepped a little girl, nobody else. She walked back to my car, opened the passenger door, got in and put on the seat belt.

I drove off, changed direction at the next intersection and returned to Bigtown. I phoned base and told them that I had caught a joy-rider and that I was bringing her in.

“Her? A woman joy-rider?”

“No, it's a little girl, Sergeant.”

“A little girl? Is she wearing a ballerina dress?”

What a stupid question, however I looked at her and she was wearing a tutu. The sergeant lost his temper and screamed at me not to bring her to the station.

“Take her anywhere BUT NOT HERE! Have you got that?”

What was I going to do with a little girl at two in the morning? The Sergeant told me to take her to South Street, which I did. I stopped the car, the girl took my hand in hers and kissed it, she got out and disappeared into the dark.

So Tom, that was Betty. The Police are under orders to keep away from Betty...

No comment.

Time for a short break, don't go away.

This is Tim Trenchard welcoming you back to the Truth At Ten. The question I want to ask now is what happened to Betty? Where is she now?

Here is a clip of this year's Morning in Bigtown. It was a very cold day in February, too cold for horses, all the riders had to walk. Float number nine is unusually at the back of the procession. No dancer, no Betty, but a big picture of Betty and R.I.P. BETTY! Her three-cornered hat was also on the float.

Is Betty dead?

Back to last year. On the last week of August last year Bigtown celebrated its 750th birthday, big celebrations and of course the Grand Parade with the famous float number nine. It was a disaster.

I need to warn you – the clip that we want to show you has been edited, but is still very distressing. Float number nine with Betty is moving slowly from bottom left to top right. Keep your eyes on the right side of the picture. There it is. A large truck with trailer comes from the right and smashes up the parade. The floats are crushed and the trailer falls over on the crowd. The truck races away.

Hundreds were injured and eleven floats destroyed. The truck was found empty, no sign of the driver, perhaps the truck was remotely controlled. Over to you Tom.

My team was called in because of the chaos. Most of the Bigtown Police Force were injured and out of action. There was no coordination, no crisis management. The ambulance crews took the injured to hospitals all over the country; nobody knew where the injured were. Total chaos. That was eight months ago.

The good news: we have located 334 persons in 45 different hospitals, all but three have returned home. Fortunately no one died in the disaster or afterwards.

The bad news: we have not found the driver of the truck, there are still seven missing persons and where is Betty? We think that she was taken to hospital in Thisstown, where she was operated on for a badly broken leg.

Thank you Tom, keep up the good work. My team have taken a tip from your team and have interviewed people in Thisstown. No luck so far...

Oh, my producer is shouting in my earpiece, a video clip has just come...

It's a TV in the corner of a room. It's the Truth at Ten Show. About five minutes ago, just after the break, the disaster... The camera is moving right and down. Two knives, perhaps carving knives, arranged as a cross. Two legs. Someone is dancing between the knives. A sword dance...

It's Betty.

Have you read bagain and Doreen and Chardonnay?