My life started one evening on the train home. We were almost alone on the train, me and my friend, and a big newspaper sitting on the other side.
I have changed, I have turned on my brain and I use it. Instead of moaning and just repeating what I heard on the TV last night, I think first and then, maybe, I say something that comes from my brain. I've stopped watching TV, at least the soap operas, I've started thinking and I like thinking, maybe I'll get good at it one day. If you can't think you're not alive – I started to live that evening.
As I was saying, we were sitting in the train talking about boys, like we usually did, especially what we thought boys thought of us. This was mostly negative, just a good moan, real bad about the boy I quite fancy. Why? I don't know.
Oh, he hates me, says I don't look right, tits are too small and arse is too big. Yes, he says that I have a big arse.
Suddenly the newspaper said, That is not true!
Whadaya mean? I shouted.
It is not true what you have just said – for several reasons. People tell me that I have big feet.
This did look true – under the big newspaper were two legs and two big feet, or rather two big shoes.
I don't have big feet. I have normal sized feet – for my size. My feet are the right size for me. Maybe I'm big, but my feet fit the rest of me. If I had smaller feet they would hurt – they would not look right. If parts of you were smaller it would not look right either.
You don't have an arse. You don't have a big one or a small one. I'll tell you why. Do you want to have good things or bad things? I suspect good things. The word arse is not good. So why would you want one or have one. No! I think you can think of a better word.
No one said a word. We two got off at the next stop. My friend said to me as we were leaving the station, you have changed.