luv yer granny

An offcut from the Story Kettle

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Copyright © 2011, Michael M Wayman

Do you believe in love at first sight? I do, and it happens, it happens to me, but funny thing, it's never the woman of my dreams and it never lasts.

I was late for Florence's party and I was all by myself. Everybody had got well stuck in, it was one of those parties.

I wandered into the kitchen and found a bottle of white wine and a glass. The doorbell rang, perhaps there was a woman for me.

There she stood with a suitcase, just the sort of woman I wanted, but about forty years older than me.

“Hello!” she said, “I've come to stay with my granddaughter Florence, may I come in?”

“Oh, yes!” I stammered, thinking perhaps that she had arrived a couple of days too early.

She walked in, I noticed Florence at the bottom of a heap of bodies, I said nothing, but I think that she saw Florence and said nothing.

“I usually stay in the bedroom at the top of the house.”

I took her suitcase and followed her up the stairs. I had no idea that the house was so big, I didn't count the staircases, I concentrated on what was immediately in front of me.

She turned the key on the inside of the door, I don't know why, and put her hat on a peg. I put her suitcase on a small table and she unpacked her things into the wardrobe.

I discovered that I still held the bottle of wine and a glass, one glass. She was quite happy to share the bottle and the glass with me.

I sat on the bed and she told me embarrassing stories about Florence as a child and embarrassing stories about her late husband. I asked her if she wanted to go and join the party downstairs.

“Interesting party going on down there.” she said, “We didn't do that when I was young. But, no, it's not for me, besides I've got you to play with.”


This story is very short, but no it wanted to grow, there was no stopping it, it grew and grew and then it had children: granny stole it