it's all in here

An offcut from the Story Kettle

StoryKettle » Offcuts » it's all in here

Copyright © 2008, Michael M Wayman

It is well known that porno-websites (often) include as many key words as possible, and trap innocent web surfers who don't know the real meaning of such phrases as “fun with carrots” or “see my bottling plant” or “chocky pud”. Often the words are on the screen, but you cannot see them as they are white text on a white background.

I have visited a few of these keyed-up websites and collected some words. I have excluded those words that describe things you don't see in a public place though:

a able about accidental ace action active address adolescent adorable adult adults advanced adventure affiliate after age alert all almost also alternate aluminum always amateur amazing amber american an and angel animal anniversary any appearing apple application apply archive are area army around arsenal artificial as asia asian ask at aunt autumn away awesome babe baby back backdoor background backseat bad ball banana bang bare barely base baseball bat bath bathing bathroom be beach bead bear beating beauty beaver bed bedroom beer before behind believe below bend best better big biggest biker bikini billing bin bizarre black blank blast blaster blindfolded blond blonde blow blue boat body bold bombshell bond bonus boot booty boss bottle bottling bottom bounce bound boy boyfriend boys braces brasilia break bride british brown brunette built bulb bull bunny bust but button by

called camera camp can cancel canceled candle candy cannot car card carrot cartoon cash cat catch caught celebrate certain chain challenge cheating check checked cheek cheerleader chick chinee chipmunk chocky chocolate choice choose chubby chunky cigar cigarette city class classroom classy clear click clip clips closeup clothes collapse college color come comfortable comic coming complete compliance confident contact contain content continue cookie cool cop core corona corporal cotton couch cougar could country couple course court covered cow cowboy cowgirl crack crazy cream creampie credit crystal cucumber curly cushion custodian custom customer cute czech daily dancing danish dark dashed date dating daughter day decided decoration deep delicate delight denied depth description desires desk desperate devil diaper dirty disc discreet display distribution ditch divine do doctor dog doggy doing doll dolphin double down dragon draws drenched dress drilled drinking drip drive drunk duck dutch

easily easy eat eater eating ebony echo eel electrified else empire empty english enjoy enter entered entrance episode epoch equipped especially ethnic european ever every exactly exam examination exclusive exit experienced extra extreme eye eyed face facial false family fan fantasy far farm fat feed feel feet female field fiesta fights filthy find fine finest finger fingering fire firm first foil follow following food foot footer for forest form forum four free french fresh friend from full fun gal galaxy galleries gallery gals game gang garage garden gave general get getting giant gigantic giraffe girl girls give giving glamour glass glassy glides glimmering global globe go going golden good gorgeous got grace grandma grannies granny grannys gratis gray great green grey group gun gym

had hair hairless hairy handle hands happy hard hardened harmony has haul hauled have having haze head header heaven heavenly heel held hen her here hers herself hidden high highest highlight his hit hitting hog hole home homemade homewive honey horn horse hospital host hot hotel hottest hour housewife hover how huge hung hungarian hunter husband hypnotized i if important in inch incorrect incredible india injection innocent input insert inserting insertion insertions inside instant instead intended into is it jail jammed japanese job join journey just

kangaroo keeping kind kingdom kiss kitchen knees know knuckle korean lace ladies lady lamp large last latest latin lazy lead least leather left leg legal legally legend legged leggy legs length lesson letter letting lick licking lifestyle light lighthouse like line lips list listen little live load lock lolly lonely long longest looking loose lotion lots love lovely lover loves lower machine made maid main make male man married massive master material mattress mature me meat media medical melon member merman message method mexican middle midget midnight military milk milky minute missionary model models mom momma mommy moms money monster month monthly more mother mouth move movie movies mummy muscled museum my nailed name nappy natural naturally naughty nearly neck needs never new news newsletter nice no none normal now nurse

of off offended offer office oh oil oiled old older oldies on one only onto open opens or oriental our out outdoor over overflow owner pain pairs pale parental park party pass passion passionate paws people perfect performances performers petite phone photo physical piano pic pics picture pictures pierce pierced pig pigtail pillow place plane planet plant plastic play player playful playing please pleasure plenty plug plump plumper pole police pool poolside poor pop position post pot pounded pounding pressure pretty princess prison privacy private problem proud prussian public pud pudding pull puma pump punished purple push put quality queen quick rabbit raccoon radio railed ram rammed ranch rare rat rated rating raven razor reaching read ready real reality really reason receive recur red redhair redhead reflect replace required reveal rich ride riding right rope rough round rounded roundest rub rubber ruin running rush

sailor saint salon same sandwich satisfied saw scene school schoolgirl schoolgirls scream sea search secret secretary secure see seen selecting self sell sent series serious set shape share shared shark sharp shaver she sheer shine shiny shirt shockwaves short shorts shot shoves shoving show shower showing shown shut shy silver simple since sit size sizzling skinned skinny skirt sky slammed sleeping slide slim small smashing smile snow so sock sofa solely solid solo some son spanish sparkle speed spit sport spread spreading spring spy square squeeze squid squirt squirting stable standard star start station stick sticking sticky stiff story strap street stretch strong student studio stuff stunning stupid suit sun sunbathing super supreme sure suspend swan sweat swedish sweet swimsuit

table tackle take taking tall tanned target tattoo taxi teach teacher team tease teasing teen teenage teenie teens teeth test thai than that the them there thermometer these they thigh thin thing this thousand three throat thumb tickle tie tied tight time tiny to today toe together told tongue too took tools top total totally tour toy toyed toys track trade traffic trailer train training transparent trial triple true truly try tshirt tub tube twins two ugly ultimate under uniform uniforms universe university unlimited until up us use using

valley value vampire various vegetable verify vertical very victorian video view viking vintage violet virginia visible visit visited walk want wanted warning was wash waste watch wax way we wear wearing weekly weight welcome well were wet what when where while whisper white who wide width wife wifey wild will window wine wink wish wishes with wives wolf woman women work working workout world worship wrapped wrestling write yacht year yellow yes you young your zebra

I think that when I was very little that I learned the alphabet in four rows:

            A  B  C  D  E  F  G
            H  I  J  K  L  M  N
            O  P  Q  R  S  T  U
               V  W  X  Y  Z

See also D-words and GN-words and KN-words and NO-words and Q-words and TW-words and words and writing links.