oclonophone

An excerpt from “Sonja dances”

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Copyright © 2007, Michael M Wayman

It was an ordinary day. Sonja bought a newspaper from the kiosk, milk from the dairy, bread from the bakery, toilet paper to wipe her behind, windscreen wipers for the car and an oclonophone from the music shop.

Sonja unpacked her shopping and read the handbook for the oclonophone. She had always wanted one. She learnt not to use it under water, how to put the batteries in it and how to start it up.

She put the batteries in it and the oclonophone started “Good morning, Sonja! Please enter the birthdate of your grandmother.” Sonja said very slowly and carefully 1 8 1 5 0 6 1 8 and the oclonophone said “Please wait three minutes.” The oclonophone started to play dance music and Sonja danced and Sonja danced for two hours. Time to go to the book shop.

Mary Clark came home early from the school and had to dance. An oclonophone plays for ever. She danced round the room, time and time again, she could not stop. She managed to get close to the oclonophone and wrench the batteries out of it. The oclonophone stopped playing and Mrs Clark relaxed.

The oclonophone had a good think about this and decided that the lack of batteries was not a good reason to stop playing. The oclonophone played and Mrs Clark danced.

When Sonja got home the oclonophone was still playing and Mrs Clark was still dancing. Sonja danced with Mrs Clark for some minutes; she picked her up and carried her to the bedroom.