Mrs Happy looks back

All you ever wanted to know about Mrs Happy.

StoryKettle » Cuthbert » Mrs Happy looks back

Copyright © 2013, Michael M Wayman

I was always in the supermarket car park, always. I ain't born anything, I was always there, I ain't got no beef certiffcake. I weren't nowhere else, I was always in the supermarket car park.

I was weak. It was dark. They took me. They took me in their car. Angela and Angela took me. Angela and Angela sandwiched me in the car.

They put me in the bath. They scrubbed me. They poured water over me. The water was dirty, very filthy. They scrubbed me. They poured water over me. The water was less dirty, less filthy.

Angela and Angela took their clothes off. They put them into plastic bags. Mine too. They climbed into the bath. They scrubbed me. They were very gentle. They held me. They scrubbed me.

They dried me. They were very gentle. They rubbed me all over with white stuff. They sprayed me with nice smelling stuff. Angela cut my footnails. Angela cut my handnails. Angela combed my hair. Much work. Angela cut the ends. Angela cleaned my teeth.

They wrapped me in a big white towelling gown. They took me to a bedroom. Angela and Angela sandwiched me. They fed me with a spoon. Very gooey, but yummy. Oat flakes, banana and milk.

They put me in the bed. Angela wrapped herself around the front of me. Angela wrapped herself around the back of me. They whispered nice things to me. They touched me all over. I slept.

I got stronger every day. Angela and Angela helped me every day. I made some strange discoveries. The house was big, very big and full of girls, some young, some old. I discovered Cuthbert and what he did and ironing.

Angela and Angela showed me ironing. I like it best when I'm ironing thick cotton things – I can really press heavily. I'm strong and I'm heavy.

Cuthbert made all the girls happy. Cuthbert was not going to do anything to me. I decided that. It wouldn't be right. No, Cuthbert was not going to do anything to me. A week later, I wanted Cuthbert, but no, Cuthbert was not allowed to do anything to me. Think again.

I was strong. I was heavy. I knew what I wanted to do. One morning I went and found Cuthbert. I picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. I threw him on the bed and ripped off his clothes. I sank my claws and my teeth into him.

He screamed and he shouted and he grunted and he groaned and he gasped and he bellowed. It was good. I screamed and I shouted and I grunted and I groaned and I gasped and I bellowed. It was good, very good.

When I woke it was dark. I was lying on top of Cuthbert, he was still breathing. Angela and Angela picked me up and wrapped themselves around me. Wilma and Jennifer picked up Cuthbert and carried him away.

I had time to think and really it's not right, not right at all. Cuthbert should settle down with one girl of his own age, and I mean exactly one girl. Or better still, let's use the right word, with exactly one woman.

It's not right, not right at all. Angela and Angela shouldn't wrap themselves round me, though I like it very much. Angela and Angela shouldn't wrap themselves round each other, it can't be right.

It's not right what Cuthbert does, all these girls, some are far too young, and some are far too old for him. It's even worse what I do to Cuthbert. I could get locked up for it.

But I'm strong and I'm heavy and I can do what I want with Cuthbert. Any time too – I can't help myself. I do what I like with Cuthbert. I do the ironing.



Other Mrs Happy stories are the frozen peas and fit Mrs Happy and Mrs Happy thinks and bookends