The Bishop had said that I must do something, if I couldn't mend my morals, perhaps I could do something for the community. But what?
Float I thought, and float I said. The girls thought that it was a good idea too.
I half sat and half lay on a bed on float number 43 in the carnival procession. It was bitterly cold, it was February, it was trying to snow.
I had a lot of clothes on, the girls too. Wilma had three pairs of stockings on her famously long legs. It is difficult to look attractive when it is so cold; but the girls managed it. They looked wonderful.
I half sat and half lay on a bed on the float and waved to everybody. The girls pushed the float, pretended to comb my hair, cut my nails, feed me with a baby's bottle, and generally look very female.
There was a big sign above the float reading “CUTHBERT'S HAREM”. Everybody thought that it was a big joke and the men found the girls very interesting. Our float was very successful and it won a prize.
We were not invited to the procession for the town summer festival; we were ordered to attend.
It was very hot, we wore very little, the girls were even more attractive. Wilma wore just about nothing. Super! And so thought all the men. Another prize.
This was very entertaining for the town, but we wanted to do more.
On all four Advent Saturdays the girls pushed the float with me on it to the local shopping mall and the girls removed money from the male shoppers. The men did not have any choice – they had to give to charity.
For a large sum of money the men were allowed to whisper to Wilma what they were going to do to their wives at Xmas. Most of them, for some strange reason, had wives called Wilma. The women shoppers were allowed to whisper anything they liked to me – very interesting.