Cuthbert and the Bishop

What about the morals?

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Copyright © 2008, Michael M Wayman

Having a harem was not going to be easy, or so I thought. The girls would fight with one another and I would have to keep them in order. Not at all!

No, it wasn't always harmony in the house, but nearly always. I never tell anybody what to do. The girls are wonderful.

No, the problem is other people.

People who want to tell me what to do. People who want to force their morals down my throat. And worse of all the husbands. No, worse of all are the media.

Last week the TV people were here. They wanted to interview some girls and then me. They got Miss Davis and Miss Jones and no me.

Miss Davis and Miss Jones do not look quite like girls in a harem; they are not very young and very much like matrons. They are also extremely violent. Miss Davis squashed the microphone between two of her fingers, it looked so easy, she did it just for fun. Miss Jones demonstrated how to use the camera for close-up shots at the bottom of the ornamental fishpond.

The TV people ran away. However when the two of them, Miss Davis and Miss Jones, have started to be violent, there is no stopping them. They marched into the house, picked me up and did terrible things to me. I liked it.

What about the morals? You ask?

Yesterday I got morals big time. Yes, the Bishop came and gave me enough to fill a cathedral.

Don't you think that is wrong to keep all these girls in your house and do what you like with them?

No, no! You're got it wrong. I don't keep anybody, I don't have a house, I don't do what I like with anybody.

The girls choose to be in the house, they come and go as they like. The house belongs to them. I put it in a trust for them; and they want me to stay here; because they want to do what they like with me.

Let me put it another way. I'm their entertainment. If I died tomorrow they would be sad for a couple of days, then they would bury me in the garden and life would continue.

Why don't you talk to the girls – they are such nice people.

The Bishop was very uncertain, but she decided to speak to the girls and to speak to the girls without me. This was OK, because Honey-Bunch and Mrs G were demanding entertainment from me.

What the other girls said to the Bishop I don't know.

No! I could not understand. The Bishop had decided to spend the night with us. I explained that we all sleep in one bed.

You should think hard about this first, think about the media.

I want to spend one night in this house, it is necessary.

Oh, I said, if you really want to stay here just ask the girls, not me.

I have, she said, they think it's a good idea.

I didn't sleep that night in the big bed with all the girls. No, perhaps not a good idea. I slept with Josephine, which gave her a big surprise.

We all had surprises that night, nice surprises.

The media did not discover anything. The girls and I go to church every Sunday now.

The next story about Miss Davis and Miss Jones is return of the Bishop