There is nothing special about me, I'm just average. I've never won a medal, never won a prize. I'm good at nothing in particular.
I've even got a silly name, but no one calls me Cuthbert. It's not that bad. It's different anyway. Perhaps that's the reason. Nothing is allowed to be special about me. No one makes a fuss of me, no one ever did.
I'm all on my own. I'm not in a club. I don't go to the pub. I don't even like watching TV. I've got a boring job, just don't ask me about it. You would think that my whole life is boring and you would be right.
Why don't I just jump off a bridge and end it all? No, I'm not going to do that. And why you ask. I am happy. Yes, I shall repeat that. I am happy.
And I'm even happier now that I have started my new hobby. Every man needs a hobby. I have decided to start a harem.