I wrote a very short story blumenhaft in German about a man who built lots of plant stands, stands for potted plants. Here it is in English:
I found a broken bicycle and took it apart. I had a good idea, I welded some of the bits together and made a plant stand. It is about 50 centimetres high and I can stand on it, it's so strong. It is painted pale blue, for a clematis perhaps.
Yes, a good idea, a birthday present for the wife. I made another. A wooden plant pot stand, about 20 centimetres high, painted white. Maybe I would put a marguerite on it.
I gave the two plant pot stands to my wife, it was her birthday. She said, “Oh! Thanks a lot! Now I have 923 pot stands. Before I only had 921, I've counted them all. I think I'll start an internet website with the banner”
Send me ten Euros and I'll send you a pot stand.
Yesterday I thought she was joking, today I'm not so sure.
I don't think that Big Tone has got nine hundred plant stands in his house and garden, not even one hundred, but he certainly has a lot. I asked Mrs Big Tone to document the plant stands in her home. Here is her story:
It is true, the big pot plants have to stand on something, not directly on the floor, the underfloor-heating would kill them. However he could be doing something useful, like ironing sheets or sweeping up the leaves in autumn, instead of continually making those ugly pot stands.
This is a really big plant stand made from the decorative ends of a single bed, with two wheels from a dead lawnmower. Unfortunately it has been outside in the rain for many years and has rotted. It will receive the chop and end in our wood burning stove.
I particularly hate this one. It's the base of a double locker, with extra wooden bars and is painted green.
A bird table made from a wooden sleeper (railroad tie) with an old plastic chopping block from the kitchen nailed on top. I usually put a potted geranium on it in summer. The stone on the left is a findling.
This one's not too bad. It's made of a big wooden builder's plank, planed, cut into pieces and stuck together, a sort of layer cake made of wood.
Also good, a little table made of wood panelling. However it is a good cobweb collector.
Another layered wooden plank, but smaller.
This used to be a wooden step from the terrace to the lawn, now we have stone steps.
Another little wooden table.
This permanent stand is made of concrete building blocks painted white and anchored to the ground. However it is too close to the silver birch tree. I sometimes put my washing on it before pegging it out to dry, geraniums look good on it too.
I don't know who bought these three stands, the middle one is good for really big pots. In case you haven't guessed yet, the example potted plant is made of plastic. That's why it looks the same every year.
This used to be a low step for the door to the terrace, but it got chopped in two. Where the other half is I don't know.
Somebody gave us this as a present – not quite our taste, but it is sometimes useful. It is porcelain, but has not tipped over and broken yet.
This was a flat-pack kit though not from IKEA. It makes a good container for newspapers and magazines.
A really simple wooden stand, one of two, that you can stack.
Another layer cake made from the shelves of a narrow but tall bathroom cabinet. However it is very useful – my PC video monitor sits on it.