Mrs Pearson had had an idea, Mrs Tinge was not so certain, but they marched off to the railway station. Captain Jane's Tattoo Studio was one of the row of small shops next to the station.
They sat down and looked through books of patterns, Mrs Pearson stood and wrote two phrases on the blackboard:
I AM MRS TINGE'S PRIVATE PERSONAL PROPERTY.
MRS PEARSON IS MY PERSONAL PRIVATE PROPERTY.
Captain Jane started work on Mrs Pearson right buttock, working with women was fine and these two ladies were kind and gentle and didn't argue.
How many times had a male customer taken an hour to pick and choose a pattern and, then when the inking was half complete, suddenly object – the wrong design and did he need a tattoo anyway – another half an hour to persuade him to let her finish it. Taking money in advance from men had made life a bit easier.
No, Captain Jane didn't like men much, she had tried a few, but very unsatisfying – women were better. And these two were so sweet, she could have... Captain Jane told herself very strongly to stop daydreaming and concentrate on the work.
She started with the second phrase on Mrs Tinge's left buttock. Mrs Pearson stood up and proudly displayed her behind. “Very good.” said Mrs Tinge. “Very good botty.” said Captain Jane. Mrs Tinge's behind was soon also “Very good.”
Captain Jane turned to her left and Mrs Tinge exclaimed “Oh, what a lovely body you've got, Captain Jane.”
“You think so?”
“I do indeed. lovely outline. Your tits stick out one way, just as they should on a lady. Your bot sticks out the other way, just as it should on a lady. There is nothing hidden. What more do you want?”
“I always wanted to chop off my tits – too big and I've never had a bra that was comfortable – I mean...”
“Nonsense! That's never going to happen, Captain Jane. Number one – even without the lovelies you still would have the shape of a lady, number two – I like the look of you the way you are. And number three – I can do something about the fit, ain't that true, Mrs Pearson?”
“Oh yes, Mrs Tinge knows all about bras and how to fit them.”
“Captain Jane, you are lopsided, I know that, you know that. It's not so bad, I'm lopsided myself and Mrs Pearson does not mind, do you Dearest?”
Without waiting for a response from Mrs Pearson she continued “Captain Jane, off with the clotheses, I need to check out...”
Captain Jane had two bluebirds, one on each lovely, they looked so sweet. “And number four – they look so beautiful. I'll just take a few minutes for a palpatory investigation. Tomorrow you can come to the ladies shop in the High Street and I'll fit you up properly.”
“Will you have to repeat the investigation tomorrow?” asked Captain Jane.
“Of course!” said Mrs Tinge.
“Good!” said Mrs Pearson.
“Good!” said Captain Jane.
“Good!” said Mrs Tinge.
On the way back home Mrs Tinge informed Mrs Pearson about what she was going to do to Mrs Pearson that night. Mrs Pearson looked at Mrs Tinge with wonder in her eyes.
After a short half-an-hour fumble, Mrs Tinge said to Captain Jane “I'm going to take a bra that fits your right bluebird, but is three sizes too big for your left bluebird, and modify it. And no, I'm not going to make the left cup smaller, that would make you look lopsided; I'm going to pad it out a bit.”
“Don't worry about the pins, I've used ten pins and there are ten pricks on the outside, they won't hurt you. Let's try it on.”
It fitted fine, but Mrs Tinge insisted on more fumbling and more adjustments. After a few hours the bra was perfect with the extra padding sewn in place. Captain Jane was very happy.
“By the way, you're invited to a birthday party at our place tonight.”
“Oh, how lovely, Mrs Tinge, which of you is having a birthday?”
“Neither of us.”
“But who's having a b...?
“I'll make another three modified bras for you this week.”
Mrs Pearson looked at the two large sleeping beauties, one on each side of her. The little party had been fun, a big cake with twenty-one and a half candles and all sorts of things on little bits of toast. Mrs Tinge had liked the chicken livers and grapes, Captain Jane the blackberry jam, although it tasted very fishy. It had certainly been a load of fun.
One thing was certain though, the truth was out, Mrs Tinge had allowed Mrs Pearson to say the truth: Mrs Tinge is lopsided.