Hubby

Is this you?

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Copyright © 2023, Michael M Wayman

He never buys me flowers.

He never unbuttons his shirts before throwing them down the laundry chute.

He always puts his used coffee mug or plate somewhere on the counter-top, and never in the dish washer.

He never does nothing about the house, no cleaning, no dusting, no vacuuming, no nothing…

He thinks the washing machine is for dumping his dirty work clothes on.

He uses the top of the dishwasher as a shelf for dirty cups and glasses.

He doesn't go to the pub at least one day in the month.

He sleeps in the front garden when he comes home late from the pub.

He never fixes things in the house.

He is good at breaking things.

However he only complains when I break things, which doesn’t happen much.

He never puts the lid down.

He always forgets my birthday.

He once thought that that it was his birthday on my birthday and was annoyed that I had not bought him a present.

He makes jokes about the day he bought a washing machine, that’s me.

He thinks that our anniversary is the day to take his car for a service.

He’s like a ferry in bed: Roll-on! Roll-off!

He’s not as good as the nice young man who lives at the end of the street.

He doesn’t hit me, much.

My friends and neighbours don’t tell me to leave him, but only ask when.

IS THIS YOU?